Press "Enter" to skip to content

BODY LANGUAGE:

The study of body language also known as Kinesics has become
generally known and understood. This whole new science started out as
a curiosity soon was looked into in more greater detail then it was
decided to be a new science. The fact that under stress people do certain
things, or that babies will suck their thumbs, a man will bite his nails or
knuckles or a women will spread her hand across her chest these all
caused people to wonder why this happened. They wanted to know what
the reason was for doing certain things, who had taught them that?
This is an example I want to try on you. Picture this. Imagine in
your mind a women is sitting in a chair her arms are crossed and so are
her legs, she has no shoes on and she is wearing a black dress with short
dark wavy hair and a cigarette. What does the way she is sitting tell you
about her, What does her short black dress say? What is the meaning
behind her crossed legs? Crossed arms? No shoes? The way she is
looking at you? These are all things that her body is sending to you in
sub-semi-unconscious ways that she may not even know of herself.

Does her body tell you she is a loose women? Does her body say shes a
manipulator? Does her body say that shes lonely and requires attention?
Maybe its screaming Im a PHONY or more than likely her crossed
arms and legs are demanding you to LEAVE HER ALONE what ever
the reason its certainly being sent to you.
You have to understand that what ever the reason is, you proudly
already know it.
This actual women was on the front cover of the book I chose to
write the 2500+ word paper on, and the following is my thoughts,
expressions, comments, ideas, and my ways of trying to help the reader
better understand this extremely interesting and useful book intitled
BODY LANGUAGE. It was written by a man named Julius Fast and
I would seriously recommend this book to anyone that needs an
interesting book to do this paper on. Even though Ive written this paper
twice now, torn my house upside done and inside out trying to find it
after Id lost it twice and by the way I dont have it now. This is book
was still worth it and this paper explains why.

Body language, a very powerful way that people express
themselves in a way that they might not be aware of. This in fact is the
second time Im writing this paper. The first time I wrote it was
yesterday it took me 1 1/2 weeks to finish it I had just finished it and
now after tearing up the house looking for it. The terrible truth has set
in, I have had to rewrite it and now I have to start all over again. That is
an awful thing and Im angry about it and I have a good way to start this
new paper. Body language is shown through out many different ways,
such as facial expressions and other things such as tone of voice, level
of breathing and so forth. Ill be extremely forward and frank Im pissed
off that I have to rewrite a paper Ive already wrote and after looking all
over the house I decided to rewrite it. My dog wont come near me right
now, my sister just looked at me funny and said geeze whats your
problem I hadnt even said one word about anything. Its sorta like she
sensed that I was upset or frustrated and she was correct I am.
The first thing Id like to share and talk about my ideas in the book
is from the chapter called Positions, Points and Postures. What does
posture exactly say? Is it an indirect way of saying something? I began
to wonder this when I started this chapter. I soon came to another part
that talked about a patient a therapist had had. Looking back on the
patient and what happened to this person I realized how much people
gave things off, this patient had been threatened suicide for some time
this time things were different. The patient looked dull dressed
messy and care free
eyes vague, movement was tight and restricted, slumped over and
passive.

He also had an inability to hold the therapists eyes, voice was flat,
lifeless, passive. These were all signs to the therapist that these werent
threats they were real, and the therapist was correct the boy did
attempted suicide and he saved his life. The point of all this was to show
some of the parts of the body people use to get their message across.

The reason I choose to explain that story was to try and see why
my sister could tell I was angry just by looking at me. I have been
wondering this and I think I have an idea on exactly what people do to
express what they are feeling. People in general use body language
before verbal language. Verbal language I think is not as effective in
communication as it is when its combined body language. I think from
what Ive learned in this book that in order to receive the full message
the person could and would have to use both body and verbal language
in order to get it across.

The Masks Men Wear is a great topic for the next section of my
paper. I found out that people wear masks that protect them from their
environments. We are fakes that hide our true selves by pretending to be
something we arent. We hide ourselves with things like personal
appearance, the clothes we select and the hairdos we have. The simple
fact is that day after day we cover up our true human being. We control
our emotions in public and a simple smile says a lot more than a sign of
humor or pleasure. We smile for a lot of different reasons, a smile is
sometimes a sign of apology sign of defense or even an excuse. I read
that and I believe thats true, just look around you everyday at school
the office or even walking around in any crowded place. The book said
for instance that a weak smile may mean something like I dont mean
to intrude, but this is the only vacant place this type of smile is usually
seen in a place like a small busy restaurant I have seen this in the
restaurant I work at. You might accidentally brush against a person in
an elevator and give a different type of smile with a certain look of your
eyes that says Im not really aggressive, but forgive me anyway. These
smiles are given as fake signs when in reality we may be frustrated and
angry at the way your days going. Why are you lying to yourself and the
people around you? This is called a mask and believe it or not you are
giving out these signs all the time. These masks go as far as in your
verbal communication, going back to me losing my paper, a friend
called me while I was looking around the house, she could tell by my
voice that I was upset and frustrated but, when she asked Whats
wrong? I replied Nothing and then she said So, How are you
doing? I then replied Good but I most certainly wasnt OK I was
extremely aggravated and annoyed and frustrated. This is an example of
The masks we wear.
We have every type of masks needed for every occasion, like if we
dont like someone and we want to be fake and unhonest with the
person we dont like. We have the party faces the campus face our
funeral faces and there is a face we hold for every type of occasion there
is.

Taking off the masks there are certainly situations in which we
have to drop that mask, for instance we are driving in a car and
suddenly a car rips out in front of us and you have to stop suddenly or
someone is tailgating you. The personal space you consider for yourself
has been violated. You drop the mask and let out every cuss word you
know because your angry and you feel violated and sometimes even
scared because they may have come so close to hitting you. This is just
one of the examples of dropping the mask, the masks are however very
rarely dropped.

Sometimes certain people wear certain masks to protect them
because they had a bad experience and as part of the traumatic
experience they want to, but cannot drop a mask. This mask might be a
unhealthful protective measure that you need to drop to get on with your
life for example, there is a similar example in the book but Ive changed
it too better explain. There is a girl named Jane who has a nice job, no
kids and is very attractive. She wants to have an active dating life and
she tries to date around however every time she goes out on a date the
guy never wants to go out again or even call her again. What exactly is
this women doing thats so bad that these guys lose interest? Well the
men were later asked and there replies She turns you off Hell, I like
Jane. At work shes a great girl and Ive taken her out, but the moment
something begins to happen she freezes up and stops talking and
becomes cold the message is then very clear and it isnt good. Shes
saying Dont touch, Dont talk to me, I wanna leave. The message is
clear and the men read it loud and clear. Sometimes dropping the mask
also means losing up, the problem however is that after wearing a mask
for a lifetime it isnt so easy just to drop it. There are lots of people who
wear these masks that hender their lives and trying to move on from a
bad experience is often difficult to do, the body uses these masks in
order to protect the individual from it happening again. Many people do
not understand this and dont have any idea why they have certain
problems the reason is because of the masks and body signals that they
give off, such a Jane as above.

The next section was a great one and it had a lot of interesting
informationabout how it is that certain individuals have better
chances with women and it doesnt have everything to do with looks.

Everyone knows a Mike you know a person who can walk into a party
and with in 20 mins or less can be on intimate terms with one of the
girls and he seems to have no trouble at all. How does this Mike person
do it? What is about him that attracts all these females? Well the answer
is a lot more simpler than youd expect. Mike has a unconscious
command for body language and he uses it expertly in some strange
way Mike is saying Im available, Im masculine. Im aggressive and
knowledgeable. Then he fines or sees a girl he feels attracted too, he
zeros on them and sends the message Im interested, in you. You
attract me. Theres something about you that captivates me and I want
to know what it is. How does he signal all this just with his body? Is it
in the way Mike looks? Maybe in the way Mike walks? Talks? Moves?
Dresses? or maybe he has captured some type of Aura that he has
learned to contains or has? The truth is that Mike has learned to walk
with a certain grace and move in a arrogant cocky Im a guy and Ill get
you type of walk and movement its quite beautiful the way this guy
does it and its funny. Its the type of grace that arouses a mans envy
and a womens interests. Then after he has captured their interests the
next step begins and oh it gets better!
He stolls over to lean against something and then his Posture and
stance adds to the easy confidence of his movement. He finally leans
against something and then he stands there finding and checking out the
women in the room all the while doing something while he stands there.

In some type of primitive way he sends out dozens of little gestures in a
unconscious way. They scream sex and he stands their in a way that
does the screaming. He may stand with his hips thrusted outward and
his legs slightly apart he looks like a guy out of a old western movie. He
is saying Im looking for a women anyone interest give me a signal. The
signal is the eyes and the way they are sitting. He needs to catch the
girls eye, and if that eye exchange is made then he knows that they are
interested. He makes eye contact and holds it just a little longer than he
should. He doesnt allow her eyes to slide away and then he makes his
way over to her. This is the best part of what the book calls a
psychological game. He sits down next to the girl. He needs to break
down her defensive barrier so he notices certain things in order to do
this such as, are her arms crossed, this is a sign of protective measures,
how is her posture, and other personal things that he has mastered the
ability to read. This guy Mike had an extremely high success rate at
getting any girl and he used body language to read and to communicate
to each and every one of them. The women that are interested let Mike
know and then he goes over to where they are sitting. He makes small
talk and then he begins the next step to his pick-up he begins to flatter
them with his un divided attention something that maybe they need in
their lives and then he sits a little closer than whats comfortable but,
not too much to really discomfort them and he usually gets the girl. We
all know a Mike and now I have a better understanding of how Mike
works.

The next section of this book that Id like to discuss is over the use
and abuse of body language. Sometimes people who know how to
express themselves in body language begin to overuse its powerful
means of communication. You need to be made aware that your body
dont know how to lie. Unconsciously, it telegraphs your thoughts as
you fold your arms, cross your legs, stand, slouch, walk, tone of voice,
eyes and the way you move them and hold them, and even the way you
hold your mouth in certain positions. There are thousands of gestures
you can make and use to over use or even abuse these signals to get
anything you could want or need from people. You can incorporate your
knowledge of manipulation and your body to make a pretty powerful
combination of power over another individual.

There are very few people who have gain such a know how as that
Ive described above but, those who can definitely have a unique power
and should be careful not to abuse or over use this power.

There were quite a lot of interesting chapters in the book and lots
of interesting stories that explained the interesting details in this book
again Id like to recommend this book to anyone in need of a book that
will take you into an amazing world of semi-sub-unconsciously sent
messages.
Body Language…. an intrepid journey into a little-known world.

It is full of unexpected revelations and gems of insight
– David Reuben, MD.